Expectations of Home and Living in a Different Country
by Joe BW Smith
This summer, a friend of mine from Africa took her young daughter back to their country of origin for a two week sojourn. They had lived in the United States for six years. The daughter is eager, curious, has a good sense of humor, and loves being around people of all ages. After a few days of eating food she had not eaten in years, hearing accents that made it difficult to communicate, and not seeing her brothers for several days, the young girl asked her mother if they could go home soon. She was withdrawn and cranky. This was startling to her mother. Were they really home? There was familiar food. They were surrounded by aunts, uncles, and cousins, and shared names and physical features. There were celebrations in their presence, and boundless love. But this place in Africa was over 8,800 miles away from their "home" in the United States, and the daughter wanted to go home.
Which place was home? What do we expect from the place we call home?
Young (2014), in her work on supporting students returning from extended study away from campus experiences, notes that regardless of how a new culture is embraced, there is an idealized view of home. We think the best of that place we call home, for better or for worse. In returning to that home after an extended period away, we are faced with questions of values and priorities, and it can be difficult. What makes home, home? Is it friends, places, food, activities? Or is home where our values are grounded? Is home a set place? Or can home be anywhere?
There are varying emotions associated with sorting out the emotions of home, whether it is in the country of origin, or the host country of culture immersion. When I ask returning students about how they feel after they return, some are joyful, and some are encumbered with disorientation and depressive lethargy. Both are possible, valid, and can happen in the same day. In other words, you're not losing your mind. In fact, Young offers that some research indicates that your mind is getting stronger in the midst of all these emotions and thought processes.
While sometimes it is good to process these thoughts and feelings alone, finding a small group (like through the Wang Center at Pacific Lutheran University) can be a way to gain perspective and support. The key is to recognize that you are not losing your mind, but going through important processes that will help you evaluate your values and priorities as you gain critical life experiences.
Source cited:
Young, Gretchen "Reentry: Supporting Students in the Final Stage of Study Abroad." New Directions for Student Services, (146) Summer, 2014.
Joe BW Smith is a Lutheran (ELCA) pastor, and Intern at the Wang Center for Global Education at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, WA. His international experiences with work and study include Denmark, Israel, Nicaragua, Ecuador, and Mexico.
This summer, a friend of mine from Africa took her young daughter back to their country of origin for a two week sojourn. They had lived in the United States for six years. The daughter is eager, curious, has a good sense of humor, and loves being around people of all ages. After a few days of eating food she had not eaten in years, hearing accents that made it difficult to communicate, and not seeing her brothers for several days, the young girl asked her mother if they could go home soon. She was withdrawn and cranky. This was startling to her mother. Were they really home? There was familiar food. They were surrounded by aunts, uncles, and cousins, and shared names and physical features. There were celebrations in their presence, and boundless love. But this place in Africa was over 8,800 miles away from their "home" in the United States, and the daughter wanted to go home.
Which place was home? What do we expect from the place we call home?
Young (2014), in her work on supporting students returning from extended study away from campus experiences, notes that regardless of how a new culture is embraced, there is an idealized view of home. We think the best of that place we call home, for better or for worse. In returning to that home after an extended period away, we are faced with questions of values and priorities, and it can be difficult. What makes home, home? Is it friends, places, food, activities? Or is home where our values are grounded? Is home a set place? Or can home be anywhere?
There are varying emotions associated with sorting out the emotions of home, whether it is in the country of origin, or the host country of culture immersion. When I ask returning students about how they feel after they return, some are joyful, and some are encumbered with disorientation and depressive lethargy. Both are possible, valid, and can happen in the same day. In other words, you're not losing your mind. In fact, Young offers that some research indicates that your mind is getting stronger in the midst of all these emotions and thought processes.
While sometimes it is good to process these thoughts and feelings alone, finding a small group (like through the Wang Center at Pacific Lutheran University) can be a way to gain perspective and support. The key is to recognize that you are not losing your mind, but going through important processes that will help you evaluate your values and priorities as you gain critical life experiences.
Source cited:
Young, Gretchen "Reentry: Supporting Students in the Final Stage of Study Abroad." New Directions for Student Services, (146) Summer, 2014.
Joe BW Smith is a Lutheran (ELCA) pastor, and Intern at the Wang Center for Global Education at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, WA. His international experiences with work and study include Denmark, Israel, Nicaragua, Ecuador, and Mexico.
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